| Plusses and Minuses of My Home |
[Dec. 7th, 2009|09:13 pm] |
My home stays cool: both in summer and winter. While on balance this might sound good, I've very little tolerance for cold and a substantial tolerance for hot.
This literally means from Dec. through Mar. I'm wrapped in blankets. :(
I'm having problems (pain) with my eye again. Could be stress. Dunno. |
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| Corpse Bride |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|09:22 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Furloughed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Clan of Xymox :: In Love We Trust | ] |
Last night after having dinner with Mike, Jamie, and Eli, I popped the Corpse Bride into my DVD player. Never seen it before, but I've many people give it luke warm reviews.
I actually liked it. I did not know how the story was going to unfold (except ... well, I new one character would get his just rewards ... but the how escaped me). I found myself liking all the principal characters, Victor, Victoria, and Emily.
The setting was rich, the pace of the film was good, and there were characters I could emotionally relate to. Oh, and there was a characteristic Burtonesque dark humour (which I love).
The film is not Nightmare Before Christmas, and I'm glad. Oh, I like Nightmare (though I've not watched it in several years). But Burton has done that, and we can return. A sequel for the sake of revisiting characters can work or can risk changing whatever iconic characteristics we might love in their first adventure.
The more I think about it, I wonder how much Victor exists within me. Oh there is some, to be sure. |
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| Friday G-Street Pub |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009|09:22 pm] |
I do not know why I have never done this before, but bands to actually come to Davis to play. Granted, the tend to be rock or blues styled bands, as the village is too small to support really underground music.
However, Friday night my friend Dan asked if I wanted to go have a drink, so I suggested we hit G-Street pub. Though it is close enough to bike to, it was kinda cold. Dan drove.
We had a good time, and it turned out that three bands were playing there. We stayed for all of the first, a folk rock band from Vegas: Coastwest Unrest. I liked them. Folk rock is fairly similar to the dark folk and darkwave I like, just sans keys. They did have a violinist, which was super cool. I ended up picking up there CD, "Songs from the Desert".
I'll have to write an amazon.com review, though it is harder when it is a genre I do not normally listen to. At times, they have Tom Petty or Bob Dylan like qualities. Though my favorite track is called "Mojave Dream #5". It is a fast paced instrumental in a minor key, reminiscent of the Battlestar Galactica soundtracks composed by Bear McCreary. |
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| Rain & Drought |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|03:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Davis | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Depech Mode (mix via my iTunes) | ] |
Prior to today, my house has had 0.16" of rain for November. Last year (a drought year) I had 2.24" by the end of the month. Today I've collected 0.20" in my gage and the satellite imagery suggests the big Nov. storm is now done (for the Valley floor).
I collect rain depths as part of a volunteer program called CoCoRaHS (Community Collaborative Rain Hale and Snow).
http://www.cocorahs.org/
I'm actually one of two Sacramento Valley Regional Coordinators, which eventually means I need to encourage more people to join. The point is that by having a large volunteer network of gagers we can see the actual spatial variability in rain, which one day will lead to better forecasting tools.
Fortunately I was home today due to the furlough. |
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| ToastMasters |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|08:26 pm] |
Much is going on with my life, and many of the people around me are having issues or problems. I could talk about that ... but I do not think it will help.
Instead, I recently joined ToastMasters. There is a local club that meets on Wednesday's at lunch time. Everybody is very supportive, and my goal is to learn to be concise and non-repetitive while talking.
In ToastMasters everybody may volunteer for different roles, and one of the roles is to be a speech evaluator. I've done so several times now, and the club President suggested I compete in the next area competition in the evaluation category. I doubt I'm that good, but it is a skill that is immediately important ... it is about being able to verbally instruct people in order to help them. I think I'll do it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|08:49 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Ikon: In The Shadow of the Angel | ] |
I'm alive, but work has been hell for the past few YEARS. :(
Arnold would prefer that all State workers be stripped bare, forced to walk around in the nude with shackles to a public whipping post, where the rest of the state can be feed grapes from our hands.
Anyhow, I finally got a high speed internet. I've been using dial-up for years, which sadly meant I couldn't really blog at all. Everybody else posts pictures that would take EONs to download. Its like I just now discovered the internet! |
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| Career Fair |
[Nov. 6th, 2008|10:02 pm] |
Today I represented the Department at a UC Davis Environmental Sciences Career Fair. I'm at odds about these things. I'd rather do *design* work or scientific investigations, but I'm used more and more to either do project management (i.e. organizing people), graphic design, or public speaking / outreach.
I like outreach, but it also makes me so tired.
Tomorrow I'm doing more outreach ... I'm giving a tour to a number of graduate students of the Sacramento River Flood Control System. Its important, but I'm in a funky mood right now.
After getting home today, I removed my Halloween decorations (early for me, huh) and then watched some DVDs. One of the shows I watched was an episode of JAG and there is a quote there about having to basically check your heart away if you want to pursue your career.
Sadly, I've done just that. I do feel lonely. It isn't so bad when I'm super busy, but I'd still love to have somebody.
This weekend my folks will come up to help me remove more carpet. But perhaps the next weekend I'll go out (or maybe on Monday night, since Tuesday is a holiday for me).
I want to meet somebody I can spend time with. |
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| Bring It On Home |
[Oct. 18th, 2008|07:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
Thursday night / Friday morning I tossed and turned all night. My back was sore from finally jogging on Monday. I'd not jogged in months. I just have a hard time finding the energy or time. I leave for work around 7:45 am, return home around 8 pm. At work I'm *lucky* if I can reply to friends emails (I get very few of them, though welcome them) or my brother's emails.
I feel so disconnected. :(
At work I'm so busy, and while some others are too, there are people that ain't so busy.
I've been having work nightmares. I have to find a delicate way to tell my management that I now consider myself a short timer. I figure I'll leave this position in about two years if they don't spread my work load around some more. What really bugs me isn't the work. I actually love a challenge. I rise to meet it. But I don't like that although I've been TOLD that I "get it" and can formulate my own activities and delegate to staff, I'm giving additional activities because others don't "get it".
Guess what, if they ain't getting it, mentor them. There is no way I'll ever advance too much further in management ... I tend to speak my mind (i.e. I'm not political).
So Thursday night, I had this song stuck in my mind all night long. I wake up, and it is still there. I then realize it was a Zeppelin song. I thought it was "Over the Hills and Far Away", but then think, "No it was from the first album."
So I look for it Friday morning only to find out that I don't have the first album. I had a bootleg tape years ago, and tossed the tape about 5-years ago. Hrmph, so what was stuck in my head???
I've not really listened to Zeppelin in years! But I then pulled out my copy of Led Zeppelin II, and presto, I was listening to "Ramble On" all frakkn night long. Popped it in, and yup, note for note, word for word, I had it all down.
I then actually thought about the lyrics (never really gave them much thought before ... they sounded nice, and that was good enough ... I'm about the tone and not the meaning). I was surprised to recognize "Mordor" and "Gollum". Plant was singing about the Lord of the Rings.
It is funny that people consider Led Zeppelin "acid rock" or "hard rock", when I really see them as being "folk rock". Oh there was massive drugs consumed (which I don't understand ... I'm creative as all hell and only drink beer to ease my pain <-- I don't talk about this much, but I'm under a mid-level nasty pain 24/7).
But Lord of the Rings ... wow, cool!
Naturally I listened to the rest of the album, and can reaffirm that this second album *remains* one of my all time favorite albums. There is a reason I own this one on CD. Incidentally the song that really is one of the best songs ever:
Bring It On Home
It is the seminal "folk rock" piece. Blending blues with rock, it is dynamic, tells a story, changes intensity (I'm not a fan of songs that don't slow down or pick up -- energy should be like the tides: it should ebb and flood), and layered. It picks me up, which is needed right now. Maybe that is why I spent the night dreaming Zeppelin. |
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| Once In A Blue Moon |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|10:35 pm] |
So many meanings in this subject header. Obviously I rarely update these days. There is a ton going on with my life, but I'd honestly rather directly talk to my friends than have them passively read what I post.
In most cases, that isn't possible ... and I understand that people don't have the time to call me. I'm also not a phone person. But still, the conversations are much more dynamic.
Saturday night I went to Nicole's artshow in the lounge of Harlow's. Her photography kicked serious ass. It was awesome. She really has a great eye. Her photos were of the old forts in the Marin Headlands. I've always been wanting to go *back* there, but never wanted to go by myself.
When I was an undergrad, Matt and I went up there. But I've not been back since. Nicole just up and decided to go one day, and by herself.
I love traveling, but I always do it alone. In fact, I feel very alone and this naturally makes me sad. I don't want a large group, but I've been putting in horribly long hours at work. There is always gonna be way to much work. Having somebody special in my life again would make it easier for me to punch out, leave work at work, and then do other things.
After the art show, whatever the normal Saturday Harlow's club started up and I stuck around with Sam and her new boyfriend Eric. I ended up talking to one woman and got her email. It was so HARD for me to summon up the nerve to do that.
It is funny. I have no problem dancing. I don't care how I look. That I do for myself because I love music. But I am convinced that I'm an ugly duckling. To be honest, I don't think anything will come of the email. If it does, cool. If it doesn't, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm so anxious about the email though ... as lately I've been thinking about advice Bonnie gave me years ago when she said she felt I needed to be in a relationship in which somebody really was into me. I saw the wisdom of what she was suggesting then, but now more than ever I'd love to have somebody special who I could plan trips to interesting places with. Somebody who I can feel free to talk to about anything, and who feels the same way about me. I just have to let down my shields more ... but I don't do so because of my low self imagine. It is going to be hard on me for a week or two, but it is self inflicted.
Other news, I bought a second bicycle for $5 on Saturday morning at the UC Davis Fall Bike Auction. I've spent $7 buying new tubes for the wheels, replaced one of them today.
I had to fix my broken fence today too! And got the front of the house mostly decorated for Halloween.
One of my neighbor's "Booed" my house. So I need to get some candy together and "Boo" a couple of my neighbors. That is cool. I love it that somebody on the street has the Halloween spirit.
The next door neighbors and people across the street both have 2 boys each. I bought a 5 pack of Halloween matchbox cars ... actually 3 sets, one for me, one for Nolan and Mason (my nephews), and one to split for the neighbor kids. |
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| Acts of Kindness |
[Aug. 12th, 2008|07:56 pm] |
First, thanks all for the positive words. It is a stressful time for all State employees, and I'm actually more concerned about others than myself ... my parents and I have talked and they can float me for a bit (months). Many others are NOT so lucky, and they really should be the focus.
I did mention something (jokingly) to my staff this morning about how they now make more than me since I'm minimum wage and they are exempt as hourly emergency response workers. They were so incredibly kind ... three of them IMMEDIATELY offered to give me an interest free loan until I could settle things down.
WOW!
Talk about WOW!
I know how much they make, and like me, they too are trying to make ends meet ... but when your staff offers to help you out you know you've done something right. I didn't do it then, but I did have to sneak off to allow a tear to my eye (JAMES robots can cry too). ;)
A month ago I had debated applying for another job which would have been a promotion. It was a make-believe state classification ... a scam some other manager was running to bump up one of his staff, and legally had I applied I could have blocked the position. That would have been easy, but dick. Instead I rationalized to myself that I have a team I trust and more importantly BUILT. I have a management that values me (and apparently an Exec branch too -- another story), and experts / mentors on hand to pass their decades of experience to me. These mentors are the best engineers I've met.
Anyhow, this is a very timely and welcomed reminder that I made the right choice. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2008|07:35 pm] |
Long weekend. Yesterday I tried to spend most of my rare holiday sleeping off a god awful hangover. :(
I was in a *single* meeting from 8 am to 4 pm today. Today was a particularly BAD work day. NOT HAPPY.
I'm now making $455/week due to the Governor's Executive Order. Now that is bullshit. My staff make much more than I.
I've got a safety net, so I'm OK there. But I'm still in a foul mood. I guess it is because I work my ass off and I'm a loyal friend, and few seem to really give a shit.
Instead of dwelling on it, I figure I'll just divert my attentions elsewhere. |
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| I bled for Iron Man |
[May. 10th, 2008|10:59 pm] |
This afternoon I went to see Iron Man in Vacaville, and was pleasantly surprised to see the Bloodsource bloodmobiles just outside the theatre. I had extra time, and missed them the last time they came by the office ... so I donated another pint. :)
It turns out that they gave me a free movie ticket, so basically I got to see Iron Man for free. They gave me a free Starbucks coupon, so after the movie I grabbed a "passion lemonaid iced tea". :9 Then I did my shopping.
About the donation, my blood pressure is slowly rising. :( It is 110/84. I used to be 110/64, and long before that I was usually 90/60. Bummer.
The film ROCKED. I really liked the second Spiderman film, and I think this one beats it. It was incredibly true to the concept and characters of the original 1960s Iron Many "Astonishing Tales" stories. Years ago I bought the first Iron Man essentials. Very fun!
Wow! They modernized everything, but put together an incredible film.
With a "reimagining" of the origin of the Hulk, I'm hoping SHIELD will be mentioned again ... because that puts them closer to an "Avengers" film. All you need is Iron Man, the Hulk, and Ant-Man / Wasp before you can introduce Captain America.
I'm also looking forward to the Indy film on May 22. |
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| Bicycle |
[May. 3rd, 2008|10:23 pm] |
My neighbor Ryan took me to the UC Davis Bicycle auction today. :) About a year and a half ago I took my sister's old bike from my folk's up to my apartment. I rode it twice, until one day when somebody stole the rear wheel. The bike was locked, but they took a wrench and ran off with my wheel. :(
Knowing I would soon move and couldn't afford the time to repair or move a half bike, I gave the rest of it away.
My bike today I got for $25. It had two flat tires, but one just needed air. The other needed a new tube, so I bought that and repaired the bike.
It took me a while, but I did ride the bike around the block. It seems to be working.
I bid on some other bikes. I wanted a spare bike to have around should a friend ever visit. :) I'd love to go out to watch the owls with somebody, and having the spare would make that so much easier!
I also went to election duty class today. Busy day, but I'm so excited that I have a bike again! |
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| Interviews / Applications |
[Apr. 28th, 2008|10:31 pm] |
I had another interview today. Originally it was scheduled to be two interviews, but one of the engineers changed his mind.
The first batch of interviews were based on the people who had emailed or hand carried applications to us weeks ago. Today I finally got the package from headquarters for the rest of my applicants. I reviewed another 17 applications at home tonight.
Yup, homework. :( It took me over a hour to scan and then print the pdf versions of all the applications.
The tanking economy has motivated many experienced engineers to apply for positions with the government. As a manager is it always nice to have strong applicants, but there honestly is a part of me that wonders if our pay hadn't increased over the past few years, just how many of these people would be interested in applying with the State?
My greater concern is that more staff mean more people to train. Each new engineer I get only takes a small portion of my work load away, and I'm left with less and less technical work. They are all good people. I just wish I had more time to really develop my own ideas more. |
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| Going It Alone |
[Apr. 23rd, 2008|09:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
About eight years ago I remember when an avid hawk lover pointed out that I was "hawk" like. At the time I described myself as sheepish and shy and had more in common with the common mouse than any other creature. She said after watching plenty of animals, and in particularly studying birds of prey, that I had more of the traits associated with a bird, and in particular birds of prey. She sited that how when I'd walk in a room that instead of trying to fit into a crowd, that she felt I would stake out a clear vantage point and survey the room / crowd. True enough. I felt any mouse, rabbit, squirrel, etc. would do so to be familiar with his surroundings, but she pointedly added that my normal haunts weren't in dark corners, but on the very edge of the dance floor action and that my stature did not point to somebody who was interested in being one of many. She said I was too individualistic to be a mammal and she added that I was not afraid of confrontation.
Interestingly enough many of my friends are pagans, and of them most of them have also pointed out that I'm much more avian like.
I've grown to like and appreciate their opinions, as I am envyous of their freedom. Even little birds have something I want ... another dimension on life.
Today it has slowly been dawning on me that I really think differently than others. My mentors / bosses pointed out that my greatest strenght is that I think "outside of the box". Its true. While I have the same instincts of any other "protector" type of personality, I also have only a small interest in playing the part in a public capacity nor in a conventional setting. At today's meeting I was surrounded by a number of engineers and scientists who I actually respect. People who have been able to say things to challenge my world view and get me to consider other alternatives.
Anyhow, as we discussed things I noticed that after our boss (two steps above me ... and frankly a brillant person) would say something, that I was one of three who would actually challenge his ideas with a "I'm not completely sold on this. I don't understand it, and I'd like to first see where you want to go here."
Two observations. I would literally say "see". I don't need to feel ideas. I don't need to hear ideas. I need to see them. My learning and communcation center is visual. (I've taken tests that suggest I'm almost exclusively visually biased.) My other observation was that people actually respected my opinion enough to wait for me to work through and accept whatever idea was being presented.
I also observed that whatever crazy ass idea (and I've had more than any fair share of them) I volunteer isn't just automatically dismissed, but after a while my ideas are directly solicited.
The disturbing part here is the realization that even amongst my peers (whom are hard workers, smart, and creative), that I'm starting to stand apart. I can't deny my thoughts, opinions, and feelings. But I honestly do wonder what it is that I experienced in my life that makes me see the world so differently.
Why am I always the dissenter or the minority?
How much of this is experienced based and how much of this goes beyond experiences and perhaps relates back to a soul or chemical structure? The reason I wonder is I'm curious what the world might be like if I could recreate these experiences or chemical interactions. With everything else going on, I actually believe their is an opportunity here -- a chance to perhaps find an easier way to help people see what I see and in doing so free me up to explore even more.
Right, if I had to work less, I know I don't idle well. I'd have to do something. Be it gardening (which is really about watching plants grow and evolve -- it is a stochastic process) or actual traveling. I so want to visit Poland, Ireland, Hungary, Argentina, and New Zealand. |
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| Brrrrhhhh |
[Apr. 22nd, 2008|09:39 pm] |
I'm tired of the cold. My house is always cold. Why is that? Why WHY WHY is that???
Obviously I'm gonna have to look into getting better insulation above and below. Bummer.
Today was the first day of interviews for my newest vacancy. In the course of a year I will have had to hire 4 people. Insane. Absofraknlutely insane.
I hate interviews. I just really don't like them. Oh, I understand that when I accepted my promotion that: (1) I'd manage more, "do" less, and (2) have to interview / hire / fire people.
The positive side (there is a huge positive side) is that the three people we interviewed today were good. I have so much work I see how I can use each of them. I also see the sorts of things I'm going to have to manage for each of them.
The important thing to bear in mind is that how I treat people today will have huge bearings on the State's and my own future. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|11:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
Work has me pretty mad today.
I've been working my butt off, and some people have figured this out. At least two of my co-workers really disrespected me today. They've been pretty annoying for some time, but today I finally had enough. Basically I'm putting in considerably more time each week than them working NOT on my branch's work, but their branch's work. I've done an awesome job ... in fact, my work is some of the few measurable stuff they have!
Anyways, I was assigned by a common supervisor to them and me to sit on an "outreach" committee chaired by somebody who clearly has never supervised others and clearly doesn't know how to chair a committee. Instead of trying to keep the meeting moving and balancing comments from everybody involved, she dominates the meetings. She included the discussion of one item that is not REMOTELY outreach related in the agenda, ordered me to write everything on the board because "Michael likes writing" (bullshit), and then when I wanted to contribute would fucking interupt me. When I tried to interupt back (which is just as rude) she and another woman on the committee would just raise their voices.
Now, originally she scheduled the meetings for this group without looking at my schedule. I told her I had a conflict, and wouldn't be able to attend, but that I trust her to do what is best for the group. She rescheduled saying I needed to be there.
If you as a CHAIR aren't going to let me talk and will interupt me EVERY FUCKING TIME, then I honestly don't need to be there. It really is that simple.
I talked to my boss about the problem (and others with this person ... like her "I need this in 1 hour, stop what you're doing please and do this for me") and basically he told me that if this is getting in the way of the rest of my work, I can stop going. So guess what ... I'm gonna tell her, "Look, I really was upset that you and M. kept interupting me. It is rude, and if you really don't value my opinions, then there is no point for me to stand witness to your meetings. I've talked to our management, and they aren't gonna make me attend something where I'm essentially wasting my time."
I don't know if I'll be this harsh, but I really do want to be. If not for my work, they wouldn't have anything to talk about.
The thing that bugs me is how little respect I get from these two. They are hard workers, but they are support staff. They aren't producing new product. I am. They've got things backwards, and part of the reason management asked them to put me on this committee was because they knew I had valuable contributions. |
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| Jury Duty |
[Apr. 7th, 2008|09:09 pm] |
So I reported to the County Court House today, and ended up in the first group of 12 jurors selected. But I was dismissed by the Assistant D.A. in the last batch of questions about mid-way through their opportunity to bump people out.
I'm pretty sure I had the following issues with the D.A.:
1) I'm single,
2) I have no kids,
3) I'm a state worker,
4) When he asked me a binary "A or B" type of question, I told the court I didn't "like" the question, because "A or B" depend on the situtation and I see both sides.
It didn't come out so bland, but I probably shouldn't say exactly what I said, since the trial is ongoing. However, when the words came out, the judges, the jury pool, and the rest of the court officials were laughing. Basically I dissed the D.A. I was polite, but I did go on record saying the question (not the person) was too simple.
Oh yeah. I knew one of the two was gonna zap me from the jury for my response. The best part is I didn't have to be mean or anything. I really dislike simple binary decisions, and prefer to think out of the box. There is ZERO need for me in a court room for that reason, as I'm a big question mark.
I'm a bit sad. I've never been on a jury before and: (1) would like to experience it, and (2) honestly feel I'd be a careful and objective juror. :( |
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